While catching up with a dear friend this morning, I was able to learn the latest about her new relationship. I am so happy for her because she is with a very good man right now. And it has been a long time coming! While listening to her I was reminded of many very important relationship guides.
- Give it to the Universe. What this means is to say out loud, to yourself or to a friend, what you are looking for and why those qualities are important to you. Be specific too. Also, it helps when you can provide a “why” to some of these qualities. Example: I would like to find a person who is as interested in working out as I am because I would like to have a partner who will go to the gym with me and participate in a sport with me so we can be active, social and healthy together. The reason this works is because you are being very specific and “naming” it, and when you name something it becomes a thing and a thing becomes a reality.
- Know your value. It is important before getting into any kind of relationship that you know who you are and what makes you happy, sad, mad, energized, and much more. Be strong in whatever those things are and don’t allow another to change you. By knowing yourself so well you will know what you want, what you will not settle for, and what things you can roll with. At the beginning of a new relationship, pay attention to everything and be alert. Continue to spend your time with someone who values you and will do as much or more for you than you do for them. Do not be with a taker! Takers suck!
- Be vulnerable. Brene Brown explains this topic the best, and I suggest you search for her Ted Talks YouTube video on this topic because it is amazing! What I mean about being vulnerable in a relationship is to put yourself out there. Why not? What do you have to lose? Yes you could get hurt. Yes you could break up. Yes a million other things. But you could also discover the love of your life. Unless you open yourself up fully — when you are ready — you don’t let the real you shine, and unless the real you shines they don’t get to see your full beauty.
- Be interested in the person and not in things. A relationship is about the person and not the things that they can offer you. I could easily get on a rant here because I cringe when I hear women immediately ask if the guy makes good money, what kind of car do they drive, or say they would marry for money instead of love. You know what? — make your own damn money! Stand on your own two feet. Earn what you have. Have some pride in yourself! Enough on that part of it because I truly could go on a long-winded rant on this topic…you want to fall in love with someone’s heart and soul. Those are the blueprints to a person and do not change. Looks, a muscular body, wealth, and status can all change, and when that changes what are you left with?
- Communication is king. Honesty and openness in a relationship — even one at the very early stages — is vital. Part of this has to do with being vulnerable, but if you cannot be open with a person you are with it is not a relationship. If you cannot tell a person that you are not interested in going out tonight because you need some down time, there is a serious problem with the relationship. You also want to know how the other person reacts to certain feelings that you have and beliefs that you hold because that gives a glimmer into how compatible you will be together. It is also important to be with a person that you enjoy talking with, and someone who you have mutual interest in things so you can share and talk. When you are with someone who can finish your sentences, or when you have the type of relationship where you reach out to each other at the same time, that is a sure sign he/she is a keeper because the two of you are in sync.
- Love comes from your heart and not your head. When you have been dating around for a while, then are single for a while, and think about dating again, you do have a lot floating around in your head. In the early stages, keep a lot in your head because you do need to noodle some things over. You may compare some things to past relationships, you may measure comments made to you by him/her in your head, and you may question your desires. However, don’t keep it there too long because a relationship should be from your heart and not your head.
I had a smile on my face long after I left my conversation with my friend because I am sincerely happy for her. I have lived through several boyfriends with her, not liking some and having huge hope for others that they would work out. But after listening to beautiful details she shared today it made me tell her that this is the reason why the other relationships didn’t work. God or The Universe or her angels were keeping her open so that she was ready and available when a fantastic man came her way.
My friend is a lovely person with a gazillion beautiful qualities. Some of her qualities is that she is a very strong personality, she is extremely outgoing, and she can be loud. Some women might attempt to change themselves or to temper down those qualities just to try and find a man who can “handle” a strong personality. I am so happy that she did not do this because that would be a lie and it would ultimately be a loss for the world because we need more vibrant, fierce and loudly loving people in this world. It also shows that your match is out there someone. Just trust.
Lastly, this is a perfect living example of BU2BFULL’s meaning — be you to be full, beautiful! When you are yourself and happy with yourself, you will lead a very fulfilling life. Since my friend did not settle in the past, because she knew her worth, and because she did not change herself, she has met her match! Life — and love! — truly is beautiful!
Love and Blessings,
Connie Jo
