Connie Jo Holmes conducting a hypnosis certification training session, empowering future hypnotherapists with essential skills.
Connie Jo Holmes conducting a hypnosis certification training session, empowering future hypnotherapists with essential skills.

Happy Holidays, or....Happy Holidays?

How are YOU feeling this holiday season? Are you "feeling it" this year? It's perfectly OK to be honest.

I found myself earlier this week responding with, "Great!" when someone asked me the typical, "how are you doing?" at the opening of our phone conversation. I noticed and heard what I said, so I quickly corrected myself and said, "No. Actually, things suck right now. We just had to put Henry our cat to sleep this week. I am so incredibly sad, and I miss him!"

It amazed me how I got myself into a routine of responding a certain way. I don't do it intentionally to hide things, so it must be such a habit and a reaction to standard questions, right? At least that is the reason I came up with.

So, this led me to think about the quickly approaching holiday season. I am not "feeling it" this year. This last quarter of 2021 has had many challenges for me. I am processing through all of them, but they have left me feeling a bit different. Beyond grateful for some things, but also deeply saddened by others. I am definitely more self-reflective than I have ever been. Without a doubt I am more honest with honoring myself and my feelings and my needs. 

Some things I did differently this year:

1) I didn't send a single Christmas card. Did this kill anyone? No. Do those in my life know I love them and wish them well with or without a Christmas card? Yes. This may be a new practice I incorporate into my life: removing this from my list. We will see.

2) I left my huge 8-foot Christmas tree up in the attic. You know the one -- the one that was pre-lit....that lasted for two seasons...and then I would have to fight with stringing lights, finding ones that work, having them falter mid-way through the season anyway. I fixed this "challenge" by ordering a pre-lit, 4-foot tabletop Christmas tree instead. Quite a bit of a change, but I enjoyed not being frustrated with Christmas lights this year.

3) I decorated my house by about one third of what I usually do. Yes, cute little Santas and Snowmen, I will see you again someday. Just not this year. Who knows, maybe that someday will be when I sell you at a garage sale or give you to my kids. Either way, this is not the year to make that decision. My head is too heavy. I have decided I don't make good decision when my head is too heavy.

Now What?

Many things have led to my bland attitude this year. Will it pass? Of course it will. However, I have decided not to force it. Just like my reactionary response of "great" when asked how I am doing on the same day I had to say goodbye to my best fur friend in the world. It's not great right now. It will be again, but right now I need to honor what I am feeling and not "press through." Will and do I show love to those round me? Of course I do and I will. But part of showing love is showing love to myself right now. Loving myself this year looks like making things easier for ME this year. I am putting myself into the equation. The equation that will again equal 100. And... knowing it will get there faster and better when I care for ME in the process.

This is my opportunity to acknowledge and honor those who have a hard time around the holidays. It is not the "greatest time of year" for many people. For those who it is -- FANTASTIC!!!! For those who it is not, I pray that it can change for you in the future. If you have been working on it for a long time, I pray that you have found a way to make it easier for yourself.

An a-ha!

Earlier this week I was on an online networking event. They asked all of us to consider what our word for 2022 will be. Immediately I thought of the word FREEDOM! I decided if it swept into my mind that quickly, I would not question it and would claim it to be my word. And....as ironic as it is....I feel I am already living this word from much of what I have detailed in this email to you. FREEDOM to say exactly how I am feeling. FREEDOM to do things differently. FREEDOM to put myself first. FREEDOM to take a "time out" from how I typically perform and act.

Do you need to give yourself a bit of FREEDOM this year? If so, do it! You will be better for it, I promise!

All the best for a beautiful closing of 2021 and a fresh start for 2022!

With loving kindness from me to you!

Connie Holmes