Jealousy is one of those feelings that can either make you or break you. When you allow jealousy to make you bitter, judgmental, resentful, or spiteful, it breaks you. When you allow jealousy to spark curiosity inside of you, wonder how someone else did it, and a desire for you to have the same or similar, it makes you by creating a motivation inside of you.

It’s important to pay attention to the little feelings that poke us from inside from time to time. Notice them, question them, then learn from them. When you are jealous about something, question what you are jealous about.

Oftentimes we allow the surface thing — really, it’s the superficial thing — to initially make us jealous. Here is Suzie Q with a fancy new car, a new glamorous job, another exotic vacation, starting her own business, getting an article published in a prestigious publication, etc.

When we feel that jealousy pinch, stop and question why. Is it really that you are jealous about her article being published, or are you envious of her dedication to learning the subject and the discipline to write? You can be dedicated and disciplined, too! It might not result in being published, but it will result in what is important for you.

Are you jealous of the exotic vacation, or are you envious of the fearlessness of traveling so far to a country where she doesn’t speak the language and the money it costs to do such a thing? This is an opportunity to review other areas where fear may hold you back. It’s also an opportunity to review how you choose to make and spend your money.

Do you feel jealous of her fancy car? Do you want the $600-plus/month car payment, too, or are you happy with no payments and an older car?

There is no right or wrong. It all boils down to perspective and questioning what is actually at the core of your jealousy. Rather than being angry or spiteful, use it as motivation. If Suzie Q can do it, so can you…or something similar. Remember, it usually isn’t the shiny object we are necessarily jealous of but the dedication and determination to create our own shiny object. And when we come from it at this angle, we are using our shiny hearts by wishing the person well and thanking them for unknowingly motivating us to dig deeper than the surface level and discover our own personal desire.

Written with love and respect and a shiny heart,

~Connie Jo Holmes