Who are you as a person? Are you still that loud, curious middle child from your youth? What about the athletic, energetic high schooler? Do you still have elements of the timid, unsure new employee on your first day at your dream job? Do you still identify with a little of all of these? If so, that is good, and it is called keeping parts of you that served you well while also evolving as a person.
Unfortunately, some people either get stuck with labels that they give to themselves, or family members keep you in a certain box that you were in at one time very long ago. This is a shame because people should learn and grow and evolve as humans constantly. Not that we are going to become complete opposite people over time (although we can), but it’s inaccurate to think that a person is always going to remain the same.
Sometimes I feel people are shamed for growing and changing as a person. This is confirmed when we hear, “but you used to like this” or “you used to be such a free spirit and now you are uptight.” To me, if a person is not changing and evolving, then they are actually going in reverse and falling behind. We evolve as humans as we have different life experiences, have new insights, develop more wisdom, meet new people, and learn new ideas or skills. This naturally changes us as people. Through observing, testing things out, and finding our stride, we determine the ideal person we strive to be as an adult.
Not that your loud, curious younger self should ever disappear. She shouldn’t! However, as you age and grow, you realize there is a time and a place to be loud and curious. The same is true of the timid, unsure new employee. Not that being the new employee is ever easy, but as you grow and learn, you realize there is no reason to be unsure because you know your skills and what you bring to the table.
Part of understanding yourself and knowing your spirit is being self-aware of what you like and why. What makes you feel light and bright? What zaps your energy? When you are feeling full and content, what is your energy and your spirit? How does that feeling represent yourself to others? Do you like how it is represented? If so, that is the essence that you want to be and to give off to others. In my last blog I talked about a person’s energy and how oftentimes you can FEEL a person’s energy before you even see them. That is powerful! For this reason, what are people feeling from you? You won’t know for sure until you become self-aware.
There is a secret to understanding yourself and your spirit. It is more of a process, and includes:
- Self-reflection of your energy and the vibe you are giving off consistently.
- Staying authentic and genuine to who you are but making adjustments as YOU feel necessary and to where the adjustments will make you feel even better.
- Assessing those parts of yourself that you like the most and bringing those forward more often. Then, conversely to this, assessing those parts of yourself that you like the least and toning those down or replacing them altogether.
- Try to quiet the nicknames and labels that you grew up with such as Tomboy, The Quiet One, My Perfect Child, etc. because it gets in the way of you knowing if this is how you are and want to be or if it is years of conditioning and expectations from others.
Remember that your spirit/vibe/essence can change as you change and grow as a person. Even on days when we may be feeling under the weather, our vibe is much lower than normal. This is because it is a reflection of how we are feeling.
To further help you confirm the spirit you exude and your essence you give off, one way to do it is by using my free download titled, “The Words That Describe Me.” When completing this handout, imagine if you overheard your friend describing you. Would they say you are loud or quiet? Are you introverted or extroverted? Are you quick to laugh or more subdued? Are you curious and full of wonder or are you more stoic and unquestioning? Whatever you are is perfectly beautiful! There is no right or wrong spirit. The only thing that would be wrong is if you were not true to you and true to what you want to be, do, have and give in this life.
Therefore, take a few minutes with the blank list and think of 10 words that you would enjoy hearing someone use to describe you. In addition to that, say why it makes you happy. Your why may be very telling and will help you to live out the meaning of that word. Also, when you explain why that word is important to you, it helps you to understand yourself better so that you can understand your spirit and how you want to show up in the world.
Enjoy this exercise and remember that if “loud and curious” shows up on your list but you seldom laugh anymore, then find a way to change that very soon because you are not being true to your spirit! Have fun with this. Use it. Apply it. Re-evaluate it periodically. Adjust accordingly. Then….show up strong!
Be sure to also watch the YouTube video on the same topic. And, you can grab your FREE download here titled, “The Words That Describe Me and Why.”